The Edge Of Darkness Read online

  I picked up my plate and that brought her attention back to me.

  “Where do you think you’re going with that?” she hissed, and her face twisted ungracefully.

  I looked down at the plate and then at her. “The kitchen?” I said as if talking to a five-year-old.

  “Why?” Her lips thinned and the one word came out strained.

  “Because I’m done with it.”

  “We have people who clear the table for us, Ryland. Put. It. Down. Now!” She turned her head to the side. “Annie!” she called.

  “I can take my plate into the kitchen, Mother.” I made sure to enunciate the word to piss her off.

  “Put it down, Ryland.” She warned, but I didn’t move.

  Annie appeared in the dining room at my mother’s side, but she was looking at me and then the plate in my hands.

  “Yes, ma’am?”

  “Once Ryland puts down his plate, clear the table,” she ordered.

  Annie looked at me, throwing daggers. She hated when I baited Coraline, and if I knew it wouldn’t be taken out on Annie, I would have cleared the entire table to piss her off more. I set down my plate, and Annie walked over to the table to take it.

  “Thank you for dinner, Annie. It was amazing as always.” She was forcing herself not to smile at me.

  She walked around me to take J.D.’s plate. The minute she moved and my mother was in sight, I was hit with her glaring eyes. She tried to play the victim next. Within a blink of her eyes, her face took on the part of a wounded mother.

  “I don’t know why you try to hurt me, Ryland, but you should be ashamed of yourself.”

  I didn’t play into her act one bit. I may feel sorry for her at times, but she was never interested in gaining any of our love. She blamed everything that came with the territory of being Jonathan Dare’s wife on the reason he denied her his love.

  Including us.

  It wasn’t until she saw the way we were with Annie that she suddenly tried to develop a motherly nature. It was too late by then and that’s when she took it out on Annie. If it had been up to her, she would have fired Annie on the spot, but for some reason J.D. wouldn’t allow it.

  I looked at Annie as she balanced the dishes in her hands with grace and a hint of badass. Looking back at my mother, I found her waiting for me to apologize.

  “So should you.”

  Annie stood next to Coraline to collect her plate, but she was frozen in place. My mother gaped at me and then threw down her napkin, roughly pushing back her chair.

  She glared at Annie for a second before stalking out of the room. I heard the rattle of glass and the click of a door and knew what she was doing. I tried to tell myself she would have taken the bottle of bourbon to her room no matter what I said, but that didn’t ease the small amount of guilt I felt.

  When I was alone in my room, I lay in bed staring up at my ceiling, my arms tucked under my head. Despite everything that happened at dinner and what I had to face later this month, the only thing I thought about was Araya and seeing her again tomorrow.

  Even after my eyes closed and I drifted into unconsciousness, the sweet smell of flowers, red hair, and dangerously soft skin haunted my dreams.

  Araya

  Three

  I stored away the last of the oils, counting each row of vials one last time before I closed and locked the case.

  I covered a yawn with my palm. I felt drained. It had been a while since I’d gotten out of the apartment. I wanted to get in bed and sleep through Nina and Carl coming home, but I knew that wasn’t an option. Pushing my case away, I knew I probably had ten more minutes before they walked through the door, and I let my mind wander to this afternoon.

  I was feeling incredibly guilty about leading Ryland on, but I told myself there was no other way. He obviously wouldn’t take no for an answer, and he backed me into a corner until I told him what he wanted to hear.

  I was very tempted to show up tomorrow just to hear his voice again. I had absolutely no experience when it came to guys. Feeling what I felt today was all new to me and the main reason I freaked out. It had been fun and exciting, and since he walked away from me this afternoon, he hadn’t been far from my mind.

  Although the reactions he stirred inside me were scary, they’d also been exciting. Boys weren’t part of my equation, and I never entertained the idea that they would be.

  Of course I held the brief glimmer of hope that someday I might fall in love, get married, and maybe have a child of my own despite the very reason that kept me from truly believing it would happen. I was old enough to know better now, and I was okay with that.

  Until now.

  It had been easier not to wonder about what I didn’t know I was missing.

  His promise to see me tomorrow night left me feeling both sad and anxious. All the way home, as Mr. Metchler talked about his day, I had to convince myself there was no way I could show up.

  The list was endless, but when it came down to it, there was only one that managed to pull me from the ledge and freefalling into Ryland’s world. He didn’t go out with girls like me and as soon as he realized it too, he would be gone. Why did I need to get any deeper than I’d gotten in a matter of twenty minutes?

  I heard the steps down the hall, the loud bickering of Nina and Carl as they argued about something. The door jingled and a second later their noisy conversation spilled into the tiny apartment.

  “You’re an idiot, Carl. That’s all there is to it.”

  “Well, what does that make you? You married an idiot.” His words sounded off and I knew he’d been drinking.

  “It made me desperate.”

  “Hi, Nina. Carl.”

  “Ugh.” She grumbled her reply.

  She walked around the room and, just like every day, left a trail of clothes for me to pick up later. Behind me, I heard her bed protest under her weight as she sat down to take off the rest of the evidence of a long day’s work. Carl ignored me as always, falling onto his bed with a loud groan, and before I knew it, he was snoring.

  “Why isn’t your bed made?” Nina snapped.

  I winced on the inside knowing I’d forgotten something and wishing I’d taken that ten minutes to make sure everything was the way she liked it before she returned home.

  “I’m sorry, Nina. I—”

  “Dinner’s not ready either? What exactly did you do today?”

  “I went out.”

  “You went out? Where? How is that even possible?”

  “Mr. Metchler took me.”

  “Where does he get off taking you out?”

  “I asked him to.”

  “Don’t you think you should’ve run that by me first?”

  “I didn’t think you’d mind.”

  “Exactly, you didn’t think. Where did he take you?”

  “Just to the park. I sat there and did my work.”

  “You can’t just go wherever you please, Araya. You have rules, limits.”

  “I was okay, Nina. I was careful.”

  “You’re missing the point. Like always.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Why would you want to go to the park anyway? So you can tease yourself?”

  “No. It actually wasn’t that bad. I had a nice time. It was nice out today and it’s been so long since I’ve been out.”

  “Did anyone say anything to you?”

  “No. They barely noticed me. I did talk to a guy, though.”

  “A guy? What guy?”

  “His name was Ryland Dare.”

  “What? Are you sure that was his name?”

  “Yes.” Her sudden note of surprise confused me. “Why? Do you know him?”

  “No. What did he say to you?”

  “I got hit with a football. He came over to make sure I was okay.”

  “Nothing else?”

  I shook my head. I knew better than to tell her he asked me out. I was afraid she wouldn’t let me go back again and I really wanted to. I knew I wouldn�
�t see Ryland again, but that didn’t mean I didn’t want to go back.

  “Couldn’t I go back if I made sure all my chores were done?”

  “All your chores should’ve been done this time. You got hit by a football, Araya. Why would you want to go back?”

  “It was an accident.”

  “Are you sure about that?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean maybe they took one look at your face and the fact that you just sat there and decided it would be fun to mess with you.”

  I frowned and I could feel the heat rising in my face. I touched the corners of my eyes. I knew what she was talking about, but I pretended I didn’t.

  “What’s wrong with my face?”

  “Don’t play stupid, Araya. You know perfectly well what’s wrong with your face. It’s a mess.”

  My cheeks grew hotter, but I refused to let her know her words hurt me.

  “I was wearing the sunglasses Grandpa Gabe gave me. They couldn’t see my face. The doctor said my scars weren’t that bad.”

  “Of course he’s going to tell you that. He didn’t want to hurt your feelings.”

  “Why do you want to?” I demanded.

  I bit my lip. Sometimes it was hard to stay quiet

  “Don’t get smart with me, Araya Noelle! I’m doing you a favor. You want to be naive and foolish, thinking you can do whatever you want because some old man takes pity on you?”

  “I can’t stay locked up in this place forever, Nina. Who am I hurting by spending a few hours in the park a few days out of the week? Please let me go again.” I hated begging,

  “How are you going to get home? Metchler doesn’t always go back through the park.”

  “I can wait for Carl. He can pick me up on his way home from work.”

  “The hell I can,” Carl grumbled from his bed.

  I didn’t know when he’d woken up, but I wished he hadn’t.

  “By the time Carl gets off his shift, it’ll be late and dark.”

  I looked around the tiny apartment with its pitiful one-window view.

  “I’m always in the dark, Nina. I’ll survive.”

  She didn’t say anything for the longest time, and I held my breath until she spoke again.

  “The first time you mess up, Araya, we’re forgetting this whole idea. You still have to do your chores, including my dinner. Don’t forget that’s how you pay your way around here. You can’t do anything else.”

  As if I needed the reminder. “I promise, Nina!” I couldn’t contain the happiness in my voice. “Nothing will change.”

  “It better not,” she snapped. “Don’t forget about your work for Metchler either.”

  “I won’t!”

  “Get started on dinner.”

  While I cooked, I thought about Ryland. While I got ready for bed, I thought about Ryland some more. I didn’t even notice when Nina and Carl stepped out. When I lay down to sleep, I didn’t need the sounds from the nightlife to put me to sleep.

  I saw Ryland in my dreams. It was the first time I dreamt in a long time.

  Ryland

  Four

  I had probably paced back and forth about a hundred times now, looking at my watch and telling myself I was only going to wait ten more minutes for her and then I was leaving. And this time I meant it.

  I felt like an idiot after ten more minutes went by and I was still hanging around like a damn lovesick puppy. Was this the work of that bitch named Karma? Was I getting what was coming to me for all the times I stood up some poor, unsuspecting girl for no good reason?

  I leaned against the tree, trying to not make it obvious that I was waiting for a girl who was most likely not showing up.

  I scanned every female face in the park, wondering why I was so desperately holding on to the hope that she was still going to show up any minute now. Who cares if she didn’t? She was just one random chick, out of many random chicks, and if I left now I could still make use of the rest of my night with the cute little brunette I met last weekend.

  Another twenty minutes went by and I had yet to pull out my cell phone to make the call to the brunette, and if I were being honest with myself, I probably wouldn’t be any closer to making that call in another twenty minutes.

  There was only one girl I wanted to see tonight, and if I couldn’t see her, I wasn’t in the mood to see anybody. The only thing that kept me from leaving right now was the nagging thought that as soon as I left, she was going to show up. Maybe she was on the other side of the park, waiting for me. I would never know if I didn’t go check, but that led me back to my original dilemma.

  An hour and half came and went and I was good and angry. I stalked all the way to my car, not caring if I missed her this time or not. If she didn’t want to see me, screw it.

  I wasn’t going to wait around while she was off laughing somewhere at what a fool she turned me into. I slammed the car door and gripped the steering wheel. My knuckles turned white as I twisted my fingers back and forth. It took me five minutes to calm myself.

  As I pulled out of the parking lot, I told myself it was better this way. It was fate’s way of telling me that I shouldn’t be breaking my own rules. If I were willing to break this rule, what else would I be willing to let slide? I didn’t need complications in my life right now, and as I told myself to forget about Araya the entire way home, I realized it was going to be harder than I thought.

  Araya

  Five

  “You got me a what?”

  I felt like the rug had just been pulled out from under me.

  “Have you gone deaf now?” Nina snapped. “I said I got you a tutor.”

  “But why? Why would you do that?” I cried, gripping the edge of my chair.

  I felt like this was some cruel joke. She was busy moving about the room, getting ready for work. She acted as if this were no big deal. Why was she doing this to me?

  “Don’t be so dramatic, Araya. This isn’t the end of the world. Besides, I thought you’d be happy about this. You’re the one who wants to spread your wings, be more independent.”

  “There’s a reason I didn’t finish school! That reason hasn’t changed, Nina.”

  “I’m reminded of that every day I take care of you.”

  What? She’s reminded about it?! Poor her!

  She hadn’t taken care of me a day since I got home from the hospital. She could go suck a… a… popsicle! It was the best I could come up with because my head was still spinning.

  “I don’t want a tutor, Nina.”

  “Well, you don’t have a choice, Araya. If I’m going to be stuck with you, you’re going to do what I say, and if you want to keep going to that park of yours, you won’t give me any more grief about.”

  In the background, I heard the zip of her skirt and the clank of her heels as she struggled to put them on standing upright.

  She was sentencing me to a prison of humiliation and failure with the threat of losing my freedom. I didn’t have a choice. It’s not like I could get up and leave. Sure, I was legally able to, but I couldn’t get around without her. I hated needing her, but I did, and because she knew that, she was forcing my arm.

  “When do I start?” I asked.

  Admitting defeat left me feeling weak.

  “Tomorrow. I’ll drop you off at their house first thing in the morning.”

  My eyes slid shut, but I wouldn’t cry. “Do they know about me?”

  “Her name is Cara, and yes, she knows about you. She’s excited to meet you.”

  “What about my work? When will I have time to do that?”

  “You probably won’t. This is a little more important.”

  Since when had my education been a top priority to her?

  “I can’t just quit. Mr. Metchler needs me.”

  “He’ll survive, Araya. It’s not like he can’t live without you. It will just have to be something you sacrifice for the greater good.”

  I frowned. None of this made sense. Nina was a
ll about me earning my keep, and my personal needs had never interfered with that. Now all of sudden she was okay with me quitting my job and learning? Something wasn’t right, but I had no idea what she was doing, and that gave me an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach.

  How much more was I going to have to sacrifice?

  I sat there in my bra and panties, waiting for Nina to finishing ironing my dress. I only owned two different dresses, so picking out what I was going to wear didn’t take long.

  I wanted to iron my dress myself, but she insisted she would do it so it would be done right. I was the one who ironed her clothes every day, so I don’t know why she suddenly thought I was incapable.

  I could only think about dresses and ironing for so long before there was nothing left to think about and my thoughts wandered to why any of this was needed in the first place. I woke up with my stomach in knots as nerves twisted my insides. I felt sick and I hated how worked up I was getting over this whole situation.

  I shifted nervously on the bed, wishing she’d hurry up so I’d have something to distract me. It didn’t take long for me to find that outlet in Ryland.

  I knew a part of my anxiousness lay in the fact that I agreed to meet him with no intention of showing up. At six o’clock the guilt had eaten up my appetite and I skipped dinner. I tried to ease that shame by telling myself he probably wouldn’t show anyway or maybe he’d forgotten, and then I secretly hoped that wasn’t true.

  “Lift your arms,” Nina ordered, pulling me from my thoughts.

  I sighed. “I can get dressed myself, Nina.”

  She was starting to freak me out.

  “I don’t want you to wrinkle your dress. Now lift your arms and stop giving me a hard time.”

  After I lifted them above my head, she slipped it over my head, chest, and fitted it to my waist. She tried to help me slip my arms in next, but she was only making it harder. It also didn’t help that the dress was one size too small for me now.

  “Help me out here, Araya,” she complained.

  “If you let me do it myself, it’ll be easier.”

  “Fine. Do it yourself.” Her hands dropped away and I tugged the sleeves up my arms.